Of Vice and Vulnerability, Episode 1: Ransomware

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Let’s have a little fun today. Today’s blog post is written in the format of a daytime soap opera. Please make sure you read all of the dialogue as if being whispered by extremely attractive television stars and starlets!

Life goes on in the small town of Oak Falls, deep woods surrounding the little hamlet nestled on the coast of Cape Seguridad. Let’s follow the lives of some of the residents, their lives Of Vice… and Vulnerability.

Dr. Lukas Knochensäge swiped through the files on his tablet as he confirmed his patient’s medical details. The patient in question—Max Cooper, owner/operator of the local Toasty Beans coffee shop—shifted uncomfortably on the freshly papered exam table, cold without his shirt in the air conditioning. Lukas began running through his patients’ data to ensure its accuracy.

“So, I hear you’ve had some heart problems, Max?”

“Yeah, I was mistakenly diagnosed with Carney complex last year when that man showed up claiming to be my long-lost father. Fortunately, that was all cleared up when…”

Max paused, seeing Lukas’ face crease in frustration as he began to swipe across his tablet more violently.

“What’s wrong, Dr. Lukas?”

Lukas looked up after a moment or two of continued swiping.

“My tablet isn’t working. For some reason, it isn’t letting me get into your files. That’s strange.”

Suddenly, the doctor’s eyes widened in visible panic.

“Wait, what? Why can’t I get into anything?

Fed up, the medical practitioner ran his fingers through his sable beard, stroking his strong chin in frustration. His eyes widened more as a new window appeared on his tablet’s display, bearing a video message.

“To the Staff of Oak Falls Municipal Hospital:

Are you having trouble doing your job? I must inform you that’s because we added something extra to your computer systems.

We are DarkLulz Doom, and we have locked your data using military-grade encryption. We will provide the password once you send 2.5 Bitcoin to the wallet at…”

The distorted voice went on to specify the address of a wallet and provide instructions detailing how to purchase and transfer Bitcoin to it.

“Be warned: You have a limited time to deliver this payment to us before you face severe consequences. If we don’t receive payment within this time, we will have no choice but to delete every file, every folder, and every record you have. We will also have to inform everyone whose data you’ve lost of your failure.

Please act quickly, as the clock is ticking.

Sincerely,

DarkLulz Doom”

The doctor gulped, hands shaking as he gripped the tablet tighter.

“I… I don’t know what to do.”

Max stared at him incredulously. “What do you mean, you don’t know what to do? The hospital should pay them! You need that information to do your job! Lives are at stake!”

Dr. Knochensäge slams his tablet into the table.

“Don’t you think I know that? All these people trust me with their health, and I need that information to care for them!”

“So you have to do something!”

“I know, I just don’t know what!”

Caught up in a panic, Lukas hurled the tablet across the examination room, shattering it in the corner. He swiftly moved to the workstation tucked away in the corner. Maybe, just maybe, the tablet had a glitch or something, and his computer was fine.

However, it was not to be. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead as the same message was revealed on the monitor—added something extra, military-grade encryption, clock is ticking. Lukas felt his heart race faster and faster, completely lost as to what to do.

He thought back to all the patients who had entrusted him, not only with their health but with their privacy. How would he live it down? How could he tell them all what had happened, and on his watch? How many lives would be ruined because this happened? Lukas felt his stomach roll over on itself as a wave of nausea swept over him.

He turned, looking at Max, who was staring at him in obvious concern.

“I… I don’t know what to do.”

Max, seeing how stressed his physician was, was at a loss for words. Before him, he was witnessing the complete breakdown of a man, growing more and more agitated with every moment. He watched as Dr. Knochensäge stared at his computer in despair, and as his expression shifted to one of resignation.

“Well, I guess I have no choice.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Max.

“The only thing I can do… I’m going to pay them the—” Lukas paused as he looked up the value of the demanded ransom. “$70,000 or so to get my data back. I have no choice.”

Max stared at him, aghast. “You didn’t keep a backup or something?”

Lukas shook his head. “I figured I didn’t have to worry about this kind of thing. I mean, who would think they’d get hacked in Oak Falls?”

Lukas grimly followed the instructions on the ransom note, purchasing the requisite Bitcoin and making the transfer. He waited for his access to return, but instead, a new message revealed itself:

“Thank you for your cooperation. You can expect the decryption key shortly after we receive the second installment of your payment, which should total 8 Bitcoin.”

Shocked, Lukas turned to Max, realizing what had just happened: he had been duped. He still didn’t have his data and had just wasted tens of thousands of dollars.

TO BE CONTINUED…

***

Next time, on Of Vice and Vulnerability… Heir to the Lutz Hotel Fortune, Derrick Lutz, gets a seemingly innocent email, while Bella Bianchi struggles with her gambling addiction while clicking on every banner ad she sees.

Of Vice and Vulnerability is brought to you by Pathfinders IT, one of Wayne’s most reliable IT providers. Stay tuned for more, and to avoid this situation, call 610-854-1060.

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